Here we go, the last MA IJ party of such a fantastic and fully-packed year. Most people show up and some wore their national outfits which features a combinition of diverse cultures. Even me, after cautious thinking, turned over my wardrobe to find my long cheongsam. I brought my national dress far from China, kept it in my wardrobe for one year and never have tried it.  So I am determined to wear it for at least one time.

I know how much scorn will be poured on me with such a grandmother style. The tricky problem girls alwasy come across is finding accessories to suit the dress. Shoes, necklace,hairstyle, earring,handbag…. color,style,suitibility…OMG, that really exhausted me.

Eventually i showed up with my messy hair, black sock and awkward high-heel shoes. As I expected, there are screaming, compliments and strange eye expressions all around. Luckily enough, I’m not the only girl wearing Chinese  cheongsam though mine is the most old-fashioned. Abel said are u performing for the Lust and Caution?

People wearing significantly different dresses form a virtually culture show. And then, girls are so gorgeous in their robes and people are all photogenic in the bling-bling enviroment. I kept smiling in the flash of camera and people just can’t stop shooting photos or being shoot. Illusions of celebrity were pervasive.

It has been already several days after the silent rally and, even more, the pervasively flooding news and comments.
I’ve come across some friends asking me to describe the event in London.
Initially I tried to keep silent as I don’t wanna to make a sweeping statement based on my personal prejudice.
Throughout the debates of the controversial Chinese issues, I have exchanged my view with some foreign people including my teachers and comrades.
By and large, it’s an enlightening experience as ever before but i should still state that I can’t help arguing and defending my view while talking with them.This is part of reasons why I was ultimately determined to write a feature covering the story of silent rally on Apr 19th with a showcase of international prospective on Olympics(polympics?),human rights and speech freedom.
I’ve really struggled a lot and took great courage to step forward for questioning the complicated and often sensitive issue.

I chatted with my teacher Gary Merrill who are heading to Taiwan in May.
I attach parts of our arguments in English so that people with diverse backgrounds can read through and air their views.
I hope my viewpoints are clearly addressed and grammatically correct, however, any mistake or misuse of the language can be inevitable due to a lack of proficiency.
You are very welcome to point out any erroneous part and add your comments.

Here is an argument, but more than an argument on the facebook group between Gary and me to mark a start of my questioning:
(Context:debate on CNN’s racist comments that arouses indignat emotions among Chinese)

【Gary】

And this is what baffles me.
It is a major difference between the West and China. We are allowed to criticise our governments
(some even argue that it is a DUTY because it keeps politicians honest.) But in China it is seen as very unpatriotic.
What’s more some Chinese people take criticism of their government by Westerners as a personal insult.
I am not saying that we are right and you are wrong. (Or vice versa)… it is simply that I don’t understand why our attitudes are so different.
After all, you enjoy having freedom of speech on facebook… and freedom of speech is a fundamental HUMAN (not western, British or American) right.
So can someone tell me – why do Chinese people get so offended?
Is it a cultural thing?
I am genuinely interested in this because, like I said , in the UK/US, our own politicians and society in general is criticised openly, every day in newspapers and TV.
This seems to be a major difference between China and the UK/US/other western countries.
Until we in the West understand these things, there will always be tension in the West’s relationship with China (the government) and the Chinese (the people.)
PS – I agree that Cafferty made an idiotic comment but people say shit like that all the time. Just ignore him.
There are much bigger issues to get excited about – global poverty, perhaps?

【Emilie】

Chinese people are angry about Cafferty’s words cuz he hurt the feelings of the whole nation.

Gary, pls note that we are not taking the criticism personally
(I’d rather say it’s insult…cuz that make big difference..criticism are largely based on facts while insult is not.it is based on some people’s prejudice and extremism emtion as I understand)

If someone just make a sweeping judgement, for example,saying you UK people are just a bunch of idiots and robbers.
You do nothing more than rob everything from your colonial countries to be rich, how will be ur reaction?

(I’m not insulting. It’s just an example to let u know how it works cuz i can’t find other method.
I do like lots of my UK comrades and teachers and have no personal hostility towards UK!)

You ask why people show such strongly unacceptable attitude towards their sometimes stupid comments like CNN?
I assume before this ridiculous statement was made by Cafferty, most young Chinese people thought western media are unbiased objective and tell stories on both sides. Especially for the major and supposed-to-be high-quality media, young people have quite good impressions.
Yet this turned out to be fantasy with the hightlight on the coverage of recent Chinese issues.

As what I understand, people,especially young generation, are not only angry but also shocked and disappointed by such supposed-to-be high-quality western media to behave so unprofessional and immoral including shielding voices from chinese han people, fabricating the facts, using the fake images let alone racist discourse!

Gary, as u said, people enjoy much freedom speech as a sacred right for human beings in western countries.
But how do we understand the freedom of speech? From my viewpoint, it doesn’t merely mean you can express your own views!
It indicates an allowance of boasting different alternative voices!
That’s also much we respected and the reason we come to the western countries doing the media study and accepting the democratic baptism!

For the Chinese issue, western media tell stories almost all on the dark side and shield the exposure of optimistic part.
There are too many examples that i can’t count in a moment!
For example,speakng of Tibet protest,media have been all and consistently focusing on Tibet’s anger how chinese authority arrest them, and barely mention their violent behaviours towards Han people.
 For the torch relay coverage,they just said how Pro-Tibet people were against China but few reported how chinese students tried their best to protect the torch?

It’s not fair and it’s not freedom of speech from my perspective!
What i experienced by myself in London last week for the silent rally tells more.
When a UK media(I’ve no idea where it comes from)interviewed a Chinese girl, everytime she reached the key points of chinese students’ feelings, she was interrupted by the reporter.

I don’t know whether this answers Gary’s question.
We reacted excited cuz people are not only angry, but also disappointed, shameful and shocked.

Let me conclude, the emotions are complex not only for the racist comments.
Some are more disappointed and stunned by the wreckage of their image of western values boasting democracy,righteousness, morality and free-expression.
They probably expected such values to guide China to a better route while things happening around actually pushed us back.It’s just such a shame! 

 

 

 

Does the spring arrive come? Otherwise, why I am so sleepy these days?

Next Friday is the deadline of my literature review and i was required to hand in my first draft of nonsense to howard next Monday. I enjoy reading and penetrating myself into the subject I chose while writing up literature review and struggling with the theoretical issue like nationalism, autodecolonialization really pissed me off. What I need is, presumably, staying at BUTE and even sleeping there if necessary for staying up late to push myself, being more efficent rather than hanging around by doing nothing. Today, I have taken naps for three times, eaten up two bags of risky chocolates(What the hell Im doing after i finish it…it’s always such confession and regret after the sweetie tragedy.), made aound 500 words of LR though.

This Friday, I told Huge Kitty Abel I was so stressful for the LR that it drove me crazy and seems the life is hopelss. Then Abel said just such a little piece of work if you can’t get over, how can you deal with the later huge mess in your career. I strongly doubt my ability and prospect in this field again.

Anyway,I’m determined to detain myself in BUTE tomorrow!

This may be the most devastating new year I have ever experienced in my life.In China,the snow storm undermined the wishes of thousands of people who want to come back home to celebrate their new year. Here in Cardiff, blustery rain forced school closures and caused traffic difficulty.

In the beginning of this semester,my mood is blustery like the weather after I got the feedback of my first analytical feature carrying out as an journalist. I was really dismayed, although Gary has given me few good comments before. However, this time I was totally heart-broken, because for this assignment I tried hard, literally. From his perception, my big trouble comes from the style and structure. He said my language is very confusing and poetic.

I’m contemplating this question again: should I come here to study journalism? I’m not escaping from the barrier… Just frankly analyzing, I’m not so talkative and outgoing, and I’m not really into the world politics, let alone economy. Jesus, in this semester we even have a module requiring us to report business and finance! What could I do if I even don’t know how to analyze it in Chinese?

Yesterday the weather was really nice, but so soon it became blustery and wintry again. Anyone give me a reason to struggle with myself again？

This week nearly everywhere i saw  people attach a paper-made small red flower on their collar, it was said to lament the deaths of the second world war. Several days ago, there was a kinda of unprecedented atmosphere in Cathays Park, just a lovely park in front of our Bute building.  I had no idea what was happening around as roads around with main entries blocked and so many policemen as well as safeguards dressing quite formally appear in this area.

 I’ve no such experienced since I came to Cardiff and actually i was doing my Vox Pop interview for magazine pathway that afternoon,pottering aroung that area. I even demanded a policeman to answer my question for the interview. Recalling the situation on that day, the policeman was really in a hurry and he kept seeing the watch while responding.

My Gosh! Now I felt a little bit weird cuz i really had a bad timing to interfere with their important task.

Later in the evening, I found out from BBC wales :The Prince of Wales has planted a cross in a Field of Remembrance dedicated to those who died in battle at Alexandra Garden of Cathays Park

Ha, if I know that, should I catch the Prince to answer my question for the interview?Joking~In the evening, I talked with my flatmate saying that there are loads of festivals which are not so common for me.Like Guy Fawks Night, War Rememberance Day. 

Becky, my british flatmate said her father, as a veteran, also participated in the Falklands War 25 years ago and several days before was summoned to fly to Falklands to attend a special 25th anniversary ceremony.In China, festivals, from my view, are categorized into 4 types:About national folk(Spring Festival.Moon-cake Festival.Dragon Boat Festival.Tomb-sweeping Day.Lantern Festival.Double Seven Lantern Festival)About international regulation(Children’s Day.New Year Eve.International Labor Day.International Women’s Day) About Chinese politics and the party(the Party’ s Birthday.Army Day. National Day)About respecting certain special groups(Chinese Youth Day, Teacher’s Day,Double Ninth Day) 

Looking back the Chinese history, we are not lack of bloody events worthy of national mourns and reflections but we hardly seize such chance. Then why don’t we possess any moment granted officially to a neceassary and sober grieving?Life is a long-cherished concept in western country whereas in ours i’d say we are growing and adapeted in a more indifferent environment. Hence, when i saw the typical citizen comment for the frequent mining accidents saying that China has too large population…life seems not to embrace so much value i instantly outraged. it’s hard to debate and condemn cuz i know so many people have such attitude.

We are a nation easy to  forget the peeled scars? Or just fearful of uncovering the subtle story in the before? It’s the reason why Ru Xun is always an author I admire, China entails more bold characters like u.

Eventually, I got this blog as my secret garden for English writing experiments.

Selecting a quite traditional and elegant architecture, Suzhou garden as my layout picture is meant to show the feeling that I relish being a Chinese after coming to UK.Before going abroad, seeing media reports with tones of Chinese booming condition and crucial position in the world, I always consider it’s just composing eulogies on their own tunes. But now i found that it seems China really matters in this big world from the comments of foreign coutries. 

Although I still have a hard time with my poor English like most my Chinese comrades.There are always odds that I get my tongue twisted while coming across some unfamiliar or smart people.

(You never know why your intelligence suddenly deteriorates and behave quite jumpy every time you begin talking with some smart people.Seems, the strong one can always empower the fallible one to become more fallible. )

Hopefully, I will get over the hump sooner or later. 

Kinda of homesick season with blustery weather in Cardiff. Lots of my friends were in gloomy mood these days,break-up,too much stress,homesickness,etc.

Last month I got my parcel which travel across moutains and sea from my mummy.

I can’t help myself to sob alone in my room for a long time at the moment I opened the box.

The box was totally stuffed, containg all the delicious food I adore.

I can see how much my mummy understand and miss me.

Suddenly, all things beautiful in my memory poured in, I miss dear parents, miss sweet-scented perfume in the air from osmanthus near SHNU, miss the old film café on Duolun Road, I miss Cathay cinema on Huaihai Road, I miss good bargain QiPu Road, miss loads of Shanghai delicacies, just so much heaven to count!  

Concerning the aspect of food, I can’t get head around how British could enjoy spending their whole life with chips, butter, pizza, chicken wings and bread.All the vegetables are usually served uncooked, including mushroom! (Can you imagine how hard I swallowed the raw mushroom the first time I was invited to have dinner with my british flatmates.) Personally, most vegetables without cooking like tomato or some leeks may be acceptable other than mushroom! That’s like babarian’s lifestyle to eat all the raw food without any cooking~ 

In the beginning, I just thought all the westerners all prefer raw food, yet I even heard some Italians and frenches said british food is rubbish~~( Just quote, I don’t really intend to offend british cuz I admit there are also many enjoyable stuffs in Britain like fantastic operas and refunding rule which impress me,a little bumpkin a lot)